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The Holiday Squad






Auld Lang Syne









Los Angeles, CA USA


The Holiday Squad was formed in 1883 by Ellery Cunningham, a special appointee of President Chester A. Arthur, to combat the growing influence of Nabulwinjbulwinj (the Aborigine spirit who eats females after striking them with a yam) over American family get-togethers. Initially outfitted in armor made from cracker meal, the Squad faced public rejection and scorn after performing a particularly energetic Independence Day drill in Paducah, Kentucky amidst record-breaking humidity. Rather than collapse under the weight of this humiliation, Cunningham strengthened his resolve and quickly designed a new outfit made of cotton tricot, paving the way for the Squad to perform modestly and achieve the level of obscurity it enjoys today.